Audio Resources

Not inclined to read a book? Well there are a plethora of podcasts covering kink topics from an LGBTQ+ friendly perspective. Here are a few we recommend:

The Big Little Podcast

Mako and Spacey cover ageplay from just about ever perspective in existence. This is a great place to start for those who are curious about ageplay or would like a better understanding of the topic.

Erotic Awakening

Dan and Dawn discuss a broad range of topics from “Sacred sexuality to fetishes, power exchange and polyamory, BDSM to erotic spirituality, as well as simply fun kink.”

Graydancer’s Ropecast

The ropecast has been running since 2005 making it the longest running kinky podcast on the web. Graydancer interviews international educators and performers about topics ranging from consent to polyamory all tying back to rope.

HuffPost Love + Sex

While this podcast comes from a more vanilla perspective, Carina and Noah explore taboo topics with open minds by asking questions like “What is sex like after addiction?” and “How is porn evolving to benefit everybody?”

It Girl. Rag Doll Podcast

While this podcast is no longer actively running, the archives still offer an intriguing take on kink and fetishism from Molly Moore and Harper Eliot. Some of the topics include anal sex, cutting and branding, sex while menstruating, and glass dildos.

The Pageist

Paige reviews books on BDSM and sex while sharing bits and pieces of her own journey through the realms of kink. These reviews cover BDSM classics, erotica, how-to guides, and much more.

Passion and Soul Podcast With Lee Harrington

This is one of the most eclectic podcasts that cover kinky topics. Lee Harrington’s focus on spirituality, authenticity, and education lead to topics like Sacred Sexual Shamanism, Embracing Our Potential, and Transformation along with classic topics like Sexuality with Disability, Consent, and Food play.

The People of Kink

With a little prodding from Crazy Heart, people share the stories of their kinky lives from their earliest realization to what they are doing today.

Why Are People Into That?!

What is the appeal of role play? Sex work? Boot blacking? Cross dressing? Tina Horn discusses a variety of fetishes with a wide spectrum of individuals to delve deeper into the niches of human sexuality.

 

So You Had An Ugly Breakup. Here’s What I’m Not Going to Do by The Coffin Girl

I’m not going to pick sides between you and your ex. Especially if we were all friends before your breakup.

I’m not going to carefully re-arrange my invite lists around your breakup.

I’m not going to join you in trash-talking your ex (my friend).

I’m not going to change my expectation that you act like an adult at adult functions. Even if your ex is present. Even if he brought his new girlfriend.

Here’s what I will do:

I will support you! I’ll spend time with you, watch romcoms, share a bottle of wine or whatever will help you as you’re moving on.

I’ll understand if you have to decline my invitations or leave early.

I’ll listen if you need to rant!

I’ll be there for you as best I can. a shoulder if you need one, a sounding board, a listening ear, we can even go out into the backyard and break stuff, if that will help. 🙂 But I won’t damage relationships and experiences with others because of an ugly breakup.

This article was kindly lent to Utah TNG by TheCoffinGirl

Here is the original writing on fetlife.

Yes, I am a submissive… By MWsFairDaisy

That does not mean I can’t think for myself, or have my own opinions and own thoughts.
It means that I have my own mind, and am willing to use this to serve another.

It does not mean that I will let anyone and everyone do as they wish to me.
It means that I will give my submission to someone who earns it from me, who shares respect with me, who I click with.

It does not mean that I will not question things or actions I don’t believe are right.
I still have my own principles and morals and can disagree when I feel I should.

It does not mean that I will blindly follow any order.
I will serve as best I can, but if I think something is wrong, or do not wish to do it, I will speak up.

It does not mean that I am not a whole person.
I am just as complex as the next person, but I am willing and wanting to surrender the whole of myself to serve another.

It does not mean that I am not strong, or independent.
I am stronger than most know, I have to be to give my all. I am fiercely independent, I am just choosing to give my submission.

It does not mean that you can look down on me.
*I am your equal, my mind is wired slightly differently to yours, I enjoy different things, but I am not beneath you. Opposite, but equal by Belasarius

Don’t take my submissive nature as a given, do not assume any less of me. Yes, I am a submissive, but first and foremost, I am a person.

This article was kindly lent to us by MWsFairDaisy

Here is the original writing on Fetlife.

 

To the NEW Girl- Mentorship By Scarlett13

If you know everything, this piece will bore you.

First of all, welcome to the new girl. I hope your journey here wasn’t as confusing as mine was. Here’s a little bit of personal experience to any new person to the lifestyle. There are a lot of big bad wolves out there, who might be looking for a tasty treat in the forest just as there are a whole bunch of little Red Riding Hoods, who might not know you have power to not be made a snack. To start, learn as much as you can about the things you are interested in. Soak it all up. Take your time.

So, some night a long, long time ago, I began surfing the net. I found subsfordoms. I found Domsforsubs. I found Alt. No. No. No. It just wasn’t right and I knew it. Then the skies opened, the angels sang, the trumpets blared and I came across Fetlife. I was “newbutwilling” and I was ready to SERVE…dammit!

I was invited by all kinds of kinky masters to train me. They would dominate and control when I was allowed to come, urinate, eat and hydrate. Every facet of my life would be under their watchful internet eye. They would teach me what it took to worship, serve, obey. I thought, “Okay…now we’re getting somewhere”. They were creepy dudes from states you try not to drive through. They were from all kinds of new and exotic places. No pictures. No information on their profiles about themselves. Just hundreds of female friends with amazing pussy and nipple clamp shots. Immediate demands. I was to never ask questions, but devote all my trust in them and their super masterly powers.

Then one day, out of the blue I got a message. “Hey, my name is so-and-so, welcome to Fet.” I was very excited to get more than just a “hit your knees you cunt” message. Here’s how the rest of it went.

“My wife and I saw that you are “newbutwilling”. You must certainly be making a lot of new friends. They clearly knew I was. “How would you feel about meeting us for dinner or coffee and maybe having us share some of our experience about how we found the scene and how we connected our kink to nurture the relationship that we have built?” Key words I had not considered up until this point: “Sharing”, “Connected”, “relationship”. Up until that point, I was living with many assumptions. I agreed to have dinner with them. They were the first kinksters I’d ever met! I was thrilled that at last…All my dreams would come true!

I instantly began absorbing what their dynamic looked like. It had taken them YEARS from the time they met to where I had met up with them. Theirs was a gradual development of trust, communication, honesty and willingness on both their parts to sacrifice and compromise. “You mean, this isn’t a find your dom without knowing anything about him or myself?”

It took time for the two of them to learn how to interact where it served both of them equally. “Wait, so I have to patiently wait while developing my own sense of who I am, what I’m about and what I really want?” He was a gentleman. She acted like a lady. She looked up to him. She adored him. He never said a harsh word. This wasn’t a matter of him bossing her around. He clearly cared about her well-being and not just getting laid. It was obvious that he adored her as much, if not more. He ordered. We talked.

They asked me really humiliating questions like “are you willing to…(insert wackadoo idea that someone may have or never had come up with). They didn’t ask me to embarrass me; they asked because those were ideas that actually transpired where one person in the dynamic was pleased and one ended up in the hospital, or the police department pressing charges.

The conversation continued.
“What are you really looking for?” “Do you know what you want?” “Well…I….”
“Do you know what negotiation means?” “Do you know what a hard limit is?”
“Do you feel safe in saying you are not comfortable with something?”
“Are you comfortable with anonymous meetings or would you like to have an intimate partnership”. “Do you know all that goes into the Master/Servant dynamic?” “There is a difference between M/s and D/s ya know”, and the conversation went on. Well, no…I didn’t know any of that.

The truth is, as it turned out, I knew nothing. I knew I had a kinky mind. I knew I wanted someone who could work my largest sex organ. I knew that finding other people who “lived” this lifestyle was like coming home. As it turns out, that’s all I knew. For some women not wearing a bra in public is kinky. For some it looked like hard-core impact play. Do I even like pain? I honestly did not know.

“If you’d like, we’d be happy to help you navigate. You can see if submission is “really” who you are or if it’s a bedroom dynamic and by the way, here are some directions to start you on your path”. They gave me a list of daily challenges. The first was to change my handle to a less “willing” name. The next was to call regularly. They provided a book that introduced terms and definitions and other pertinent information. For fun they gave a checklist of things for me to review and check off as yes, no, maybe and NEVER. There were a LOT of nevers when I first was introduced. I listed them as mentors. Both of them. A dominant male and his submissive bride.

Soon, the “hit your knees cunt” messages ended. I no longer received friend requests by the dozens. They suggested I attend groups for submissives. I thought to myself, how am I ever gonna meet my one twue Dom by hanging out with a bunch of submissive women? What? Knitting? Surely that is NOT my thing! But, it was to hear the experience of others. And to slow my ass down from sub frenzy to cool, calm, collected decision maker. It was to learn from their mistakes and greatest achievements. Meeting HIM wasn’t as important as figuring out who I really was. I wanted to nurture the submissive side of myself first because the person I’m guaranteed to have to live with till death is ME.

The mentorship didn’t last long. I wasn’t able to comply with the daily tasks. There were too many distractions in my daily life. My family and work HAD to come first and life was just punching the gas pedal pretty hard. And, as a good Dominant, he had put firm boundaries in place and it was up to me to adhere or bow out. Here was an invaluable lesson on firm boundaries and a real sense of discipline. Mind officially blown! I wasn’t running “that” show, that much was clear! All that to say that I am eternally grateful that there were people out there who cared enough about the integrity of the community and the safety of the new girl.

What I learned from the brief experience was paramount to a safe and fun experience. I really DID learn to just not trust any Tom, Dick or Harry that professed to be a Twue Dom …online…with my body, mind and emotional state. I learned the differences between dynamics. I learned how to ask for what I wanted, wait until it’s the right time and do it safely. I learned to nurture curiosity, ask as many questions without being a pain in the ass and learn as much as I could about as many subjects as I could.

I learned I could say no. I learned about creating and upholding my own boundaries. I learned that my safety was not only his responsibility. It was mine as well. I learned that the community is important for recognizing the reputations of certain people and if those people refused to be a part of, then to proceed with caution. I learned to inform myself as best as possible and know what I want versus what I need.

To this day, I consider many people on Fet to be great mentors. I know pillars of both sides of the slash. I am never afraid to ask anyone for anything. I never did find my one twue dom, but what I received in exchange is invaluable to me. Open relationships with people of all kinds. I’ve gained a level of acceptance of people’s differences. I can look at that and say, “that’s cool for you” and be happy that you’re getting your kicks.

So, if you’re new and you have a lot of questions, I would suggest getting a mentor. The relationship and experience will be well worth the time you spend looking for who you are and what you want.

THANK YOU…EVERYONE…for your amazing responses and feedback.
K&P because YOU all took it there!

Be safe out there. 🙂

This article waws kindly lent to Utah TNG by Scarlett13

Here is the original writing on Fetlife.

The more you ask, the safer I feel By Mr.O

A few days ago, someone said in a message “I hope you don’t mind that I’ve asked around about you”.

I don’t mind at all. In fact, it makes me feel better. The more someone asks about me, the more it shows me they are sane and like to play safe.

The same goes for questions people ask me. Everything a potential partner asks me makes me feel safer about playing with them.

As a top my risks are different. I might not have to worry about someone tying me up and abusing me in ways I didn’t agree to, but I do have to think about whether or not someone is really giving me their informed consent. I need to know that they take their own health and safety seriously – how can I expect someone to care about me if they don’t show any signs of caring for themselves?

Some questions I like to hear:

  • How long have you been doing this type of play?
  • What can go wrong?
  • How did you learn how to do it?
  • Who else have you done this with?
  • Have you ever had a problem and injured someone?
  • What will you do if something goes wrong?

On the other hand, NOT asking certain questions will make me very nervous. Especially someone who doesn’t show any interest or concern in my safer sex practices, that is a red flag for me that will usually end the negotiations.

Within very general limits I can do pretty much whatever I want to with my partners – but we didn’t start off that way. At first we went through very detailed negotiations, and over time trust was built up both ways. It has come about from me repeatedly doing what I said I would do, and them continuously showing me they were giving me their informed consent to do so.

 This article was kindly lent to Utah TNG by Mr.O

Here is the original writing on fetlife.